ElectroCUTEd Puppy

I am sitting across from this 31 year old 'go getter'. His name is Amir Levin and he is the charming, energized inventor of the Kaboost, Portable Chair Booster. We are in his very nice, very modern SoHo living room. He's in a chair with his legs spread, elbows on his knees, fingers together. He is a little intense and a little twitchy, using short, succinct sentences. I am on the couch, my palms pressed together and squeezed between my thighs in front of me. I'm trying to sit up straight. I'm in full drag, nice skirt, heels and I'm even wearing fake glasses. I have perfect vision.

He is firing me.

This is the second time in my life I've ever been fired. The first was when I attempted to be a hostess in a little Thai fusion restaurant that no longer exists. The owners were very sweet and trusting when I demanded $15 an hour. I often sat people according to how I felt they looked aesthetically in the restaurant. I'd never hosted in my life. I assumed it was easy enough work that I could learn on the job but no one trained me...in English. Thank goodness we never had more than five parties at a time. I had no clue. After two months they hired a college student at $10 an hour. She also waited tables. Much more bang for their buck. I was 'not vely good hostess'.

But THIS....THIS KID....THIS RICH, TRUST FUND KID...was firing me. I'd only worked for him for two weeks and after day three he was asking me for things I was simply not qualified to do....but this job wasn't like the hostess thing I lied my way into...our interview, where he literally shook my hand and hired me on the spot...was me explaining I could assist him in setting up an office but I was not capable of being his accountant. He only wanted me to know Quickbooks and I told him I knew some but I could learn more with time. Day three he wanted a report on his inventory. I was still putting software on the brand new computer and setting up his voice mail. I didn't even know he HAD inventory.

Every night I took the laptop and Quickbooks for Dummies home and every morning I was up early, eager to get through my to-do list of setting up his home office while at the same time researching a real office to move us to. I was to be the Office Manager and eventually...his sidekick. I was all aflutter with new ideas for branching off of the Kaboost. I was ready and committed. So committed, I'd quit my prior job giving them only two days' notice. I was asked not to come back at all. That was a nasty taste in my mouth and I don't like to burn bridges like that. That was the old me, not anymore! But I choked it down while I lit the match knowing I was going to have a lot more money and a whole new life! Idiot.

Sure, on day four he told me not to come in too early because he had a date that night and he wanted privacy the next morning. Sure, in the middle of my trying to deal with his off-shore warehouses he spent 15 minutes showing me where to get his favorite paper clips. Sure, on day five I overheard him micro-managing his daily housekeeper on how to prep his daily laundry. This guy was so SURE of himself that he could and would make a split decision and the 'cost' was never an issue for him. He knew everything. He was always right. He had lots of money.

Do NOT get me wrong ...I got burned 'cause I hopped on his hope train and it was a blaze. He was very smart and worked very hard. His ideas were brilliant and he truly became an over-night success. American dream stuff and I admired him. I knew there were a lot of dangers that go with the success he was managing and I was impressed with his knowledge, his energy, his follow-through, his two bedroom SoHo apartment.

I just thought he would let me do the job.

I found out later the girl before me lasted a month...the girl after me (an accountant) a week.

So, I'm trying not to cry in front of him and when he pulls out his wallet and hands me $200 for my 'trouble', the little pride angel on my shoulder snubs her nose so I decline. Then I look at that money and I know this is nothing to him and everything to me. Pride-schmide. It's not like he was my pimp. Sometimes you should take the money. I call my temp company and tell them. They say I deserve the 'tip' and they are disgusted at his lack of tact. I sob while I walk all the way home. I have NO job.

A month goes by.

I started this blog the second day of my next temp assignment. Greg and I had just come back from Amsterdam and my life was changed. Shortly after, I got the gig I have now and I continue to feel changed...in a good way...

There are so many ways to describe my Kaboost experience....Silver Lining...God shuts a window, opens a door...

I like to think about Stewart and what happened to him the other night while we were at home. He was under the couch, chewing on something and we heard a YELP! He came running out.

Mouse? Bug?

Greg grabs a flashlight. I hold the little guy and dart to the other end of the sofa.

He was chewing on a wire. He seems much calmer now.