Baby Fish Mouth

"I’m sitting at gate D4 in LaGuardia Airport. Since 2:30p today I’ve walked 26 blocks by Penn Station, road the N to Queens, hopped on the M60 to the airport, then stood on line after line only to be told I was in the wrong line. Since when do you HAVE to go to self check-in? They hire people to tell people one by one they have to go somewhere else and do it for themselves. Why’d the Yankees get a new stadium? How about we update the gate to the free world? What a shit hole. I swear I smell urine..."

I recently took a trip to visit my brother back home in Dallas, Texas. I did some writing on the plane. When I went back to read it, I could actually see my words change with the altitude. Like Sam Kinison morphing into Meg Ryan's Sally Albright and back again. I either need to get out of the city more or embrace this weird place like only Sally can.

De BeEG oNE

Greg has an alter ego and he takes place in the form of our little dog, Stewart. Stewart calls Greg 'The Big One' and I'm 'The Queen'. I was once stopped by a neighbor and in a whisper told, "I sometimes here your boyfriend talking to himself..."

36

It's not my birthday or wedding day, nor did I attend a funeral or go to the hospital. But I've had a zit for over a month, a pulled muscle for over a week, I can't function without eight hours sleep every night and when I catch a bug, like now, my body thinks it's dying. It's gotta be an age thing. I think I need some ice cream.