I Am the Walrus

A few months back, Greg and I decided to have a glass of wine after a show...free tickets, mind you, so we thought the was wine justi....

[Right now I am trying to write a blog at the end of a long work day...week. My brain is mush and there are a lot...A LOT...of horns honking right outside the building. Like a horn symphony... - people wanna go home...back to Jersey...TGIF - I can't think straight to type the funny story about the drunk dude at the bar a few months back...my sole purpose for opening up this template was to make fun of the mush brain trying to pick up the bartender...takes one to know one...]

...fied. [Honking stopped after my rant.] The bar was almost empty except for two men sitting at the bar with two stools between them. One was extremely metrosexual and one was wasted-face frat man. Both were trying to win the favor of the pretty, blonde bartender [Shelly Long], who clearly was there to work and clearly not interested except for maybe an extra smile tossed in for good-tip measure.

Frasier vs. DEERUNK Norm.

After the third time we saw Norm pace the length of the restaurant, 'Diane' came over and explained that "he likes to take walks". We smiled at her sympathetically.

Frasier uneventfully gave up and walked out the door leaving Norm at one end of the bar with Greg and I at the other.

I accidentally caught Slobber Bobs eye the one time he lifted his chin from his chest. He wobbled over and made some small talk. Some of it pretty self deprecating and some of it obviously trying to impress 'Diane'.

He asked to pay our tab.

Greg and I looked at each other.

Do you give back the extra change the cashier hands you? Do you call out to the woman who dropped cash out of her back pocket on the street? Do you point out the miss-swipe of the toilet brush and into the shopping bag?

Yes. You do.

We told him no, and thanks, and no thanks, and thanks, but no thanks. But he WOULD NOT HEAR OF IT. We warned him of the regrets he'd have in the morning when he woke up and reached for the aspirin and the trash can. He wouldn't have it. 'Diane' had to understand that he was a gracious big spender.

Four glasses of wine. Splurged.

Almost immediately after the transaction. He walked to the edge of the bar and wiggled his finger, beckoning Diane to his side. He leaned over and all mushy-mouth and whispery-loud asked her out. When she refused he asked why. When she explained she was seeing someone he wanted to know who. When she said she just wasn't interested he swayed backwards and said:

CAN I GIVE YOU MY CAR FOR A WEEK AND A HALF?

[I, of course, grabbed my phone and typed this statement in my notes and emailed it to myself.]

The three of us looked at the floor. She asked him what he meant and he mumbled like he was embarrassed, waved her off and, knocking over his stool as he went by, walked out the door.

I've been working on a tedious project at work that makes my brain feel like it is trapped in a little tunnel. I can completely understand statements like these. So. If I show up drunk at work tomorrow, maybe I will start to make sense to myself.

Dead Birds of Tivoli

We went to visit good friends 'upstate' this past weekend...wait...let me start over...

WE GOT THE HELL OUT OF THE CITY THIS WEEKEND!!!!!

The first time we visited our friends in Tivoli, this little gem of a town to where our friends were considering relocating, we stayed in the place they were considering buying... a rickety charm of a house...a fixer-upper but too much fixer-uppering for city mice. The second time we visited them they had already moved into a home they were renting on an estate on the side of a luscious hill overlooking the river. Greg and I seriously considered getting married there. They've since had to move because the house was sold and the new Beetlejuice owners booted them as tenants. This last time, we visited them in their newly rented loft that sits over the local Artists' Co-op, portrait studio and is next door to the coolest bar on main street.

The first visit we got a tour of the town they were falling in love with.

The second time we got to relax in their new home and hear about the town they were getting to know.

The third time we went to places where they were known.

Each time we visit we have to bring Stewart and each time we take turns walking him through the country air and simple life. Even Stewart relaxes and runs more. I swear you see him smiling.

On our second visit we were there a little longer than the trip prior and we spent a lot of time outdoors. We found a spot by the side of the house where a nest had either been destroyed by the day's downpour or gravity pulled it off the roof. And twice, on two different days, we found tiny, naked, featherless, eyeless birds dead on the sidewalk. It was uncomfortable to come across but for whatever reason, I was intrigued... moved to stare at and finally pick up and bury the little things. I remember feeling a sense of being in the world, nature, the circle of life, the whole 'I'm just a speck on the speck of this planet in the universe' and it felt good. I'm a part of this...a small small part...no more pressure...the worries can go...the rent will get paid...I can stop and think, no, create for no other reason than because it sounds fun.

This past visit, I was walking Stewart and we came across a patch of grass and trees between homes. A place evident where everyone walks their dogs. Stewart added to the collection and walking back we came across a beautiful, perfectly preserved full grown blackbird dead in the mulch. The iridescent feathers popped and stood out against the black ones. It's eyes were peacefully closed.

I was again reminded of this circle and peace. My subconscious keeps telling my belly this all means something. Country air and simple life. I'm drawn to it.

I hear the most popular 'fantasy' job surveyed in the United States is: COWBOY. Didn't we start out that way? I love the dirt that is still in my boots.

I hope Stewart didn't catch anything. I should Purell his paws tonight.