There is something wrong with me.

I was on the subway. I am sitting, grateful for the cool air, with my cell phone still in my hand. I just found out a good friend's husband left her. I'm in shock. Sad and angry.

I am going to call him.

I try and I get some older woman who sighs and tells me the number is no longer his and she doesn't know where he is and she is tired of hearing about him. [She gets this a lot.]

So I hang up and walk. Get on the train. I slowly sit. I almost fall when the train starts, settle, then look down at my hands. I hear a sweet, calming sound to my right. A bird? A flute? No...a harmonica. Soft....sweet....sad melody. So beautiful...I actually almost start crying. I look up and it is.... A MAN WITH ONE ARM. HE IS USING HIS GOOD ARM FOR THE CHANGE CUP. THE LITTLE, GIMPY THING TO HOLD THE HARMONICA TO HIS LIPS. HIS EYES HAVE COME FROM ANGELS...PUPPIES......HIS MELODY IS PURE MELANCHOLY.....

I literally almost bust out, crack-up, bite my cheeks, hold my hand to my face, bite my palm laughing!!!!! What the be-jesus is wrong with me???!!!!!

NOT BECAUSE IT WAS FUNNY. NOT THAT....ANYTHING BUT THAT.....but maybe the timing? THE TIMING I TELL YOU. I was so sad....so sad for my friend and like out of a movie...this sad tune fills the air...and it is coming from THIS...this sweet, beautiful, sad, little, one-armed man with sweet, sad eyes....begging for money...playing....PLAYING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC ON THE ONE INSTRUMENT HE CAN MANAGE.....NOT FUNNY.....NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He stands in front of me while I DIG in my wallet for change...dollars...twenties!!!...anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mint?

I shake my head at him....'nothing...I'm so sorry....' and watch him continue on down the train.

He never stopped playing.